is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
