He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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