Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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