2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
