Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
