so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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