Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
