She is in my trunk
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
