Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
