Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
