I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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