went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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