True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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