she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
