Banned from zoo.
Again?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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