And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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