quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
