You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
