Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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