I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
