You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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