I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize