Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
