I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
