Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i out mim tonsoeep
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