He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I will be naked everywhere
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
