their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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