So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I came so hard my ears popped.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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