im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
