I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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