i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
