oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So vagazzling was a success
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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