Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
if only i could text you this smell
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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