This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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