Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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