I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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