I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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