Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
