that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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