that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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