Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
