i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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