The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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