Screwed.edu
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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