Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
