Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
