Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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