After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
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