Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
