haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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