SEEEEXXX PLEASE
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
